Archive for the Slow News Day Category

the power of “cheesus” compels you!

Posted in Slow News Day with tags , , , , , , on March 24, 2008 by spacetaco

Interesting news out of Texas over the weekend. According to Houston’s KHOU 11 News, a local youth minister stumbled across a Cheeto that kind of looks like Jesus. Below, he recounts this epic revelation:

“When I first saw it. Oh, it kind of looks like a dog or something with the two legs. Then I turned it on its side. I was fixing to eat it,’ said Cragg.

‘And that is the image I saw. I don’t think the heavenly choir actually started singing, but in my mind they did.”

Marvelous. Score 1 for Texas.

“Cheesus” now dwells in a protective case on the dude’s mantle. This discovery also marks the exciting completion of the ongoing “God Works Through Cheese” Trifecta:

1. Cheeto Jesus (2008)

2. Grilled Cheese Virgin Mary (1994)

3. God’s Divine Blessing of Brett Favre to Cheese-Idolizing Wisconsin (1992-2007)

chester

So, interesting choice by God on how to close out his cheese trinity . Especially since I, along with many of my fellow religious scholars, consider Chester the Cheetah to be the devil.

[ right: file photo of Chester the Cheetah feasting on Blood of the Innocent ]

That’s right, Cheetah. We all know whose side you’re on. Better give it up now, sinner.

Oh, and don’t pull any of that “I’ma-gonna-put-orange-dust-in-your-laundry-when-you-ain’t-lookin’!” shit on me, because I’m watching you.

For more dumpy, local news coverage of “cheesus”, check out KHOU’s ground-breaking video and supplemental article (which also doubles as a transcript of the video): “Snack or holy symbol?“.

Oh, and in case you were wondering…
spaceship awesomes > the KHOU newsteam